


the touch of your hand

by verivala



Series: Grindeldore prompt fills [20]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Canon Gay Relationship, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Prompt Fill, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 21:26:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17905958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verivala/pseuds/verivala
Summary: Prompt: "I'm better now that you're here"





	the touch of your hand

**Author's Note:**

  * For [primaryblueberry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/primaryblueberry/gifts).



> Hope you like it :) 
> 
> Takes place before the first FB movie

Dumbledore furtively looked around the grounds as he made his way further into the darkness of the Forbidden Forest. Seeing no one, he kept walking until he came upon the field he had visited so many times before. It was perhaps the most pleasant looking place in the whole forest, a flourishing, green spot in the darkness surrounding it. 

Drawing out his wand, he set up privacy wards and settled down to wait. 

He did not have to wait for long before he heard the swoosh of displaced air behind him. Soft steps approached him, and soon pale hands drew him flush against the body behind him. Warm breath caressed his neck as the owner of the hands greeted him, “Hallo, mein Lieber.”

Albus drew in a shuddering sigh and leaned further into Gellert’s hold. “Hello, Gellert. And how are you?”

Gellert chuckled and ran his hands down Albus’ stomach. “Better, now that you are here.”

Albus took hold of his hands, drawing them away from his body, and turned around. Running his eyes down Gellert’s body, he took note of any changes. He was thinner, and although his hair was still long and curly, it had grown paler since the last time Albus had seen him. And so had his skin. Gellert held almost none of his former healthy glow now. 

His smile turning fainter, Albus tried not to think of the reason for it.

Smirking, Gellert grabbed him gently by the neck and drew him into a kiss. Albus went willingly, pressing his whole body into the kiss, trying to forget anything else except this. The two of them together. The warmth of Gellert’s body beneath his hands. The intoxicating feeling of Gellert’s touches on his.

Withdrawing, Gellert undid the buttons of Albus jacket and dragged it off his shoulders. With a snap of his fingers, the coat turned into a picnic blanket and spread on the forest floor next to them. He packed Albus onto the blanket and waited until he was seated comfortably before crawling over him. 

Gripping him by the lapels of his coat, Albus dragged him back into a kiss. Their tongues slid lazily together as Gellert’s hands moved all over Albus’ body, running through his hair and caressing down his sides. As he slipped his hands beneath Albus’ shirt, Gellert’s mouth started to run down the length of his neck.

But even the sweetness of Gellert’s kisses could not stop the thoughts running through Albus’ head. He thought of Gellert’s pale skin and what it signified. He thought of the articles he had read of the things Gellert had done. And as Gellert’s hands went to his belt and started drawing it away with a small clink, all Albus could hear were the cries of his student who had just lost his parents.

The parents Gellert had killed.

Albus closed his eyes as he felt his own eyes starting to spill. The hands on the buttons of his shirt stopped and rose to cup Albus’ face instead. A thumb wiped away the tear Albus could feel making its way down his cheek.

“What is it, my dear?” Gellert asked, his voice filled with concern.

Albus opened his eyes but regretted it at once, for the sight of Gellert’s concern made him want to cry even more. He pushed him gently away and stood up, trying to keep his breathing under control.

His back to Gellert, he said with a choked voice, “I can’t do this.”

He heard as Gellert got up from behind him. A moment later warm hands came to rest on his shoulders. “Do what? We don’t have to lie together if you do not wish to.”

Shaking off Gellert’s hold, Albus turned around and gestured at the blanket and their rumbled clothing. “No, I mean- any of this. I cannot keep seeing you.”

Surprise flashed across Gellert’s expression before it turned into suspicion. “Is there someone else?” he asked, and Albus shivered at the coldness of his tone.

Albus shook his head quickly. Merlin help them if Gellert got it into his head to be jealous. “No, it’s not that.”

His eyes boring into his own, Gellert regarded him with suspicion for a moment longer before he seemed to decide Albus was telling the truth and relaxed. “Then why?”

“It’s not about-” Albus started, but stopped, unsure how to explain how he was feeling, unsure how to make Gellert understand that although he loved him, every time they met he was left feeling sick with guilt afterwards. Unsure how to explain that his skin felt as if was stained with blood where Gellert had touched him, how he felt like the eyes of his colleagues followed him in the hallways, as if they knew who he had let into his bed, how, when he had held that grieving student in his arms, it had felt like the bruises Gellert had left on him were burning holes into his skin, and how every morning he waited for the newspaper with fresh horror, afraid to read of any new crimes Gellert had committed. How, despite all of it, he still loved him. 

And how he _hated_ himself for it.

Now crying in earnest, he continued, “I love you, I love you so much it  _hurts_. But I cannot do this,” he said, his voice cracking, “ _I cannot_. Everything in me protests against it.”

Quickly tying up his belt and buttoning his shirt, he summoned the blanket to him and turned it back into his coat, drawing it across his shoulders. Gellert was quiet as he watched him dress, but it was the sort of quiet that was dangerous. As Abus turned to leave, a hand reached out and halted him. Spinning him around, Gellert pressed him tightly against a tree. His eyes were burning, both with pain and resentment, and he seemed unsure which one to hand control to. 

“You did not seem to have a problem with me the last time I made you moan like a paid whore,” he seethed, his lips inches away from Albus’ own. 

Feeling as if he had been slapped, Albus pushed Gellert forcefully away, making him stumble onto the ground. 

“Don’t come back,” Albus commanded, and eyes stinging, he turned away and left.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it please leave a comment <3
> 
> My Tumblr: bloodtroth


End file.
